In the following paragraphs you will read about some of my life from my perspective. This is a great opportunity to get to know me a little more personally. As I continue to add more information throughout this website, and learn new things everyday, you will get to know me even more.
As I overcome my shames and become brave enough to share more, my desire is that you, the reader, can be inspired by my vulnerability to take action in your life too!
This website is a FREE resource of how I live my life The RF Way and how you can too. If you choose to also live your life The RF Way, this website is your go-to for the 5 pillars (or RF’s if you will) that create The RF Way.
The RF Way
RF1 – Red Faces (daily exercise)
RF 2 – Real Food (transition to better food choices)
RF3 – Respect for Self (the real deal – self love)
RF4 – Respect for Others (be the change you want to see in the world)
RF 5 – Responsibility for My Actions (Own your actions and the consequences of them. No more excuses!)
(You can learn more about the 5 RF’s or The RF Way under the Wellness Tab)
I believe everything I share is information worth sharing and worth reading!
WHO ARE YOU? (short version)
I am a wellness advocate, an environmentally conscious consumer, I’ve overcome emotional eating & lost 50 kilos in the process, reached massive goals, I truly love myself unconditionally, and I love helping others to do the same!
I didn’t always feel this way about myself, achieve my goals, or control my emotional eating. When I wasn’t looking after myself, I often made some pretty big mistakes. From my mistakes I learned a lot!
In 2016 I decided to challenge myself to get ‘red faced’ every single day, and since then I started helping friends, family & people that reached out to me.
Now, my vision is clear & I am living my best life because I am becoming better at choosing what I want, and what is best for me above all else.
NEED TO KNOW MORE? (longer version)
This path is not always harmonious and I am embracing the not so good with all the great. I used to get upset at myself when I failed, when I made mistakes, and when I would say yes when I really meant no. Through my failures and mistakes and with more practice at saying no, I see that this is where I learn the MOST! I am not afraid of failing anymore and soon I will even more confidently say that I don’t care what others think… I am almost there, I know I am getting better at letting go and no longer caring about the opinions of others, though the years of ‘people pleasing’ conditioning (where all I have EVER did was try to please and avoid any conflict with ALL those around me), needs some more practice before I am confident with my ability to face ANY situation and make the best decision for me.
I still catch myself at times caring about what someone thinks of me, but 4 years of consistent work, and I am almost there. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, and I also knew it was worth it. I focussed on changing my habits because this change is worth it, and it hasn’t been easy and I’ve continued to make a multitude of mistakes, some even to the complete extreme where I bluntly hurt someones feelings because I said exactly what was in my head – and it didn’t come out the way I intended. More practice and I will become better.
I also want to highlight that I am single, (happily), 36 years old and with no children. It’s so crazy that 10 years ago when I was 26 years old, 3 years after my last serious relationship, I made the conscious decision not to have any children until I was in a great relationship. 10 years on, and at 36 years old with no children, the tables have turned and now rather than being ‘a catch’ because i don’t have any children, there ‘must be something wrong with me because I don’t have any children! No matter what, I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and finally I am looking at men with a different viewpoint. I used to go with whoever paid me attention really. I was pretty desperate for a boyfriend back when i finished school because that’s what everyone else was seeking, so being the people pleasing, wants to fit in person that I was, I . I was craving the crazy unconditional love like in the movies and I was prepared to completely change to be the BEST girlfriend. I would always consider my partners needs before my own, plan my entire life around them and do absolutely anything for them with little or no conflict because I thought that was what you do when you love someone. Can you blame me though when I grew up watching Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing and every fairy tale created by Disney? My understand and learning of love was a little distorted as I actually believed in my heart that the man of my dreams would sweep me off my feet and love me unconditionally and we would live happily ever after, just like the movie story lines…. oh and I also thought that if a guy slept with me that he liked me! I also didn’t know that it wasn’t cool to hook up with multiple guys on the one night when you were single! I thought it was ok, but apparently for girls it wasn’t – so that helped start a nice little small town rumour that 10 years later when i thought it was finally squashed, an old guy friend from years before that I always thought was a proper good guy, drove through the night to come and see me, I couldn’t believe the timing and the chances! We had the best night together until…. Saxby – i think you are just the best chick – you are fucking awesome and even give off an Angelina vibe to me… but I just could never be strong enough for the backlash of the reputation you have among my mates…. and that my friends was when I gave up on looking for someone to complete me. If my man couldn’t be strong enough to tell their mates to fek off because he loved me, then I didn’t want him in my life anyway. That was the last time I saw him and I think he went back to his past girlfriend and ended up marrying her or something. Knowing she wasn’t what gave him the spark, but it was what would please everyone around him. I saw how he had what he wanted in front of him and how he chose the easier option. I was so hurt that he was choosing what others would approve of rather than what he wanted…. until I realised that was exactly what I was doing too! Then and there I declared that I am now deciding if they are good enough for me based on their actions rather than their potential. Imagine if you were staring in the eyes of the guys that’s just driven for hours to see you and spend the night with you, only to realise you were a booty call and that he had just used you to ‘scratch that itch’ before going into full commitment.
The only part the sucks about the above story is that I can see a PATTERN! If you ever see a pattern in certain parts of you life, let that awareness of the pattern be your cue to ask yourself what you can do to change this. If there is a pattern, there is something that YOU are doing that is causing it. Have you seen the movie: Good Luck Chuck? When I watched this, I couldn’t actually believe that my life story had been made into a movie! It was so uncanny and then I went and listed how many people I had been the last person they has been with before they met their wife. There’s 4 that I can think of off the top of my head! I eventually overcame this mindset and realised that not EVERY single person i dated had this happen to them, so I wasn’t cursed. phewwww!
I haven’t helped myself on the dating front either, as with every negative experience it made me more reclusive and less motivated to start another relationship. Ive never stopped wanting to be in a relationship, however my future relationship will be so different to any I have had before, this is complete new territory for me, and one that has been years in the making. I have been learning to love myself more so that I can be a better version, and also meet a better man that fits into my life so I don’t lose who I am again. I was attracted to men that I thought I could help. I saw their potential and that remained my focus, rather than the reality. Whenever things would start going pear shaped, I’d try harder to please, so I would become less myself and moreso just an agreeable doormat. Cue ghosting, friends with benefits, one night stands, drinking so much bad decisions were a given, and basically taking the path of trying not to get hurt which only lead to more hurt.
By now you can see I have a lot to say/ write & I will continue to heal and become better as I share my shame and vulnerabilities and become stronger and completely unable to be impacted by others opinions except by conscious choice.
Another quick thing I’d like you to know about me is that I do learn my lessons the hard way, (see above), I do struggle to overcome and let go of the pain from some past traumas that I have never voiced and I still don’t know if some will ever resurface. This year I voiced some deep inner traumas which made them become ‘real’ again, and this didn’t go to well for me mentally, but after dealing with it and learning new ways to live with my pain, (and shame) I am slowly and surely building up the resilience so that one day I can hopefully talk freely about the struggles I have overcome and how I overcame them so that someone in a position that I have been in may learn something from me that will help them deal/ overcome it better than i did.
When the entire world shut down in March 2020 because of COVID-19 I was finally granted the time I had been needing to figure out what and how I was going to pursue my why! Why am I sharing and why am I putting myself out there? I believe I am here to inspire YOU to also find your Why and pursue it with unwavering faith and passion.
The way I learn is with repetition and by understanding why things happen/work. Once I understand, I have learned. With repetition, I remember.
From a very young age I have been aware that I was ‘bright’ and the way I see things is super cool, and quite different to anyone I know. I am always trying to figure out how to solve problems. I was the why kid growing up: but why mum, why? I have an endless catalog of ideas that jump into my mind and I have taught myself how to do most things rather than asking: ‘Brookie do it’ – from the time I could talk! Miss independent, miss do it myself, miss you can count on me. The last came to a big time screech in 2018 when I left my secure job to ‘find my passion’ – oh and because I had a complete mental breakdown for the next 18 months trying to get my life back in my control. I finally got my shit sorted and was working a full-time job doing 10 hour night shifts 4 days a week so I could work on building a client base and doing what I love helping people become better.
I haven’t shared much of my struggles in the online arena, and instead shared how I was always working hard and becoming better every week and I aimed to inspire and inject positivity into everything that I shared for others.
Behind the scenes I had been suffering a mental illness in secret for the last 10 years. As I become stronger and a more resilient human, I will share more and open up about past experiences so that I am not only helping myself, but others can also benefit from learning about the not-so-perfect aspects of life and how I navigate the tough times. I don’t see enough of this available and I also want to help others eliminate the shame they carry in their lives about things they can’t forgive themselves for. I want to help as many people as possible to also come to a full circle in their lives and also feel like they are free and in control of their struggles rather than their struggles controlling their lives. This is the most significant thing I think I can help others with and when I see that light-bulb moment in my clients faces, I know that sharing my shame is then worth it.
I have taken my life by the reigns and I am doing what I can to help myself reach my goals.
My big vision for this website is for it to be a reliable and real platform full of free information that I believe needs to be shared to help educate you to own your life too!
I encourage you to navigate around & welcome your input for future posts &/or videos about topics you would like me to provide my opinion on.